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Showing posts with label attempted humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label attempted humor. Show all posts

Friday, January 7, 2011

Excuses...excuses




I used to be fairly good at blogging- at least- I did it often. I suppose one can't promise quality, but I did offer quantity.

In mid 2008 we started a home-based photography business that has taken off much more than I ever would have imagined. We did 13 weddings in 2010 as well as a gazillion family shoots, seniors, kids, etc. Love our clients!

In addition to the biz, I homeschooled my niece for six months along with our two boys and we have continued to be busy with our family-integrated church plant.

So, you understand my delay in blogging, yes? Oh, and I became a member of Facebook. I've never played any of the games and I only have a handful of "friends", but it has become quite the place to stand on my soapbox and declare in just 420 characters or less, my thought of the day. Honestly, it's a lot less work than a blog. Blogs make you sit. And think. And write. And try to be funny and give people quantity AND quality. Trust me, there's not much of either on FB these days. (Although I must admit that I find great Godly encouragement from some dear friends on that site).

My resolution for 2011 is to blog more from an informational standpoint. I'd love to do some book reviews, giveaways and menu/budget planning and updates on the persecuted church.

Happy Friday everyone,

Angelena

Saturday, July 11, 2009

...Of Mothers, Teenagers & Other Runners

As I have not written anything worth my weight in gold lately, I feel it is an appropriate time to return to the blog.

Over the past six weeks, I have started to taking my running "seriously" again. This, of course, meaning that I am purposefully taking time out of my day to put on running shoes (aka: not flip-flops) and attempting to sneak out of the house- unnoticed by my boys who desperately fear for my safety as I 'round the block at depressingly low speeds.

All good runners know that at least one long run must be accompanied by shorter runs throughout the week when training for endurance. Thus, the past weeks I have "taken it to the streets" in order to accomplish said task.

Runners and bikers must follow specific laws when running in traffic. First, runners must go AGAINST the flow of traffic. This, in effect, will alert you to all vehicles making a direct attempt to hit you. You can see them coming. You have time to dive into the bushes. You can wave your arms madly when someone isn't paying attention. You can look into their eyes and KNOW what they think about sharing the road with you. Truly, it's an eye opening event.

As a runner who enjoys running on busy streets, I have found it very important to alert the rest of you to the categories of drivers and the risks included with each. Please take care to pay close attention.


The "Young Mother": As you are running, beware of mini-vans filled with mom-toting children. They are either for or against you. Beware of the distracted mom. Driving while on the phone ordering pizza for dinner, trying to find a sippy-cup that is rolling under the brake, admonishing the children in the rear-view mirror and attempting to apply mascara. Once they spot you, brakes squeal and the 7 seater goes flying into opposing traffic. They missed you, but the driver of the Corolla on the other side of the street just saw his life flash before him.

The "Grandmother": They've spotted you two miles away and instantaneously begin driving 11 mph on the OTHER side of the yellow line. You can see them glaring at you for causing the drive to be sooooo slooowwww, but it just isn't in them to even consider going any faster, because they are a Grandma after all.

The "Teenager": I may be absolutely broad brushing, so all you careful and responsible teenagers out there...forgive me in advance. It is my experience, however, that young drivers (under the age of 20) have absolutely no idea that they are sharing the roads with other cars, let alone a runner. They drive so super-close to you that you can almost smell the Starbucks Smoothie that they're slurping on. The rush of wind brought on by their car is SO close, that it turns you around in the opposite direction.

The "Watcher": Inevitably, there are odd people out on the roads. You can usually hear the car before you see the car. When they get really close to you, they almost come to a complete stop- NOT because they are being careful, but because they want to stare, whistle or throw something at you. Do not make eye contact and keep running. The "watcher" is one of the main reasons I, a) rarely run at night and b) carry a gun in my shoe.

The "Semi-Truck": If you are so fortunate to run on busy roads, you will most likely be passed by a semi. My advice? When you see them coming, simply stop running and go sit in a ditch 24 feet away until they pass. Seriously, who wants to even come close to getting hit by a Semi? It's like...hello- see you next Thursday.

The "Other Runner": Most people involved in some sport that involves road-training will show some compassion when passing you on a busy street. They slow down at a reasonable speed, get over slightly and raise the all knowing "hand of friendship" as they pass by. Ahhh, the camaraderie. You raise your hand in thanks as you continue on in your mileage goal.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Aargh


"Bid me run, and I will strive with things impossible."
William Shakespeare



My half marathon is just weeks away at this point. I figured I'd better start some hard core training since my winter has consisted of accidental trips to the gym. Last weekend my pal "L" and I did a ten mile run and it felt great. We came to our big finish and I honestly felt I could have run another ten. I was feeling very proud of myself because this was one of my longest runs since November! I went home that day with barely any aches and pains! (Although I will admit I was a little sore the next day going up and down the stairs.)

So, today I woke up and made up my mind that I would be doing twelve miles. I arrived at the meeting spot where three friends from my last marathon training group had decided upon. We did a little chatting...a little stretching...and then we were off! Unfortunately, I realized within about thirty seconds that I needed to find 'the little girl's room'. (Apologies, if you are currently finding the direction of this story going down hill fast. Better move on now... it only gets worse)

I was totally distracted from that point on because there is absolutely NO where for a person to relieve one's self. Very problematic. So, I went on a potty hunt...running all over creation. I had to divert from my group to run around parks, nature trails, etc trying to locate a bathroom! Nothing, people...nothing! Keep in mind- we are in the middle of basically nowhere. About three miles down I spot a port-a-potty in the middle of a horse corral in the middle of an open field. I have no idea why it was there, but it was my target. Of course the corral was gated closed...so here I am...decked out with my running tights, garmin forerunner, mp3, coolmax hoodie .blonde pony tail flailing in the wind, diving over fences! And...of all the places I could have landed... you guessed it- right in a huge pile of mud. I'm sure I broke more than trespassing law along my route.

So, finally after that little episode I made it back on the running route and could see my group about 1/2 mile ahead of me. I starting running about 8-8.5 minute miles trying to catch up. At mile six I caught up with them and was completely exhausted. But, I pushed to continue and finally made it to mile 12... My team was so sweet...everybody was waiting and cheering when I arrived. I was so tired! I have no idea why this week was so completely different, but I guess that's the way it goes sometimes. (On the bright side...at about mile five I had a wonderful time of prayer! I felt complete and overwhelming joy of the majesty of our Lord! I know that God gives us times like this when we are discouraged to fill us with hope.)

I came home and basically collapsed for about three hours. Oh the soreness! I had to go to the grocery story this evening and that was torture too! I'm in my twenties, people! Aargh! But, yet- here I was again! Limping like I needed to ride in one of those electric grocery wheelchairs with the little basket on the front. After I went up toward the checkout line I realized I had forgotten my cottage cheese. I love cottage cheese. But I was hurting so bad that I didn't even turn around to retrieve it. It is indeed, a sad day when one must forgo curded cheese.

So, here I am... late Saturday night (yeah- it's 9pm) ...still limping from that crazy pain in my hip. My parents are coming over for our Resurrection celebration dinner tomorrow afternoon and I really should be cleaning. Should be. Hmmmm...




Signs that you might NOT be a Distance Person

- While training, you are passed by an old man with a walker.

- You scream "Stampede!" at the start of every race. (I'd love to try that once!)

- Your joints pop louder than fireworks when you stretch. (Oh, friend! That's me!)

- Your longest run was around the block. Well, most of the way around.

- That big finish line kick always ends with a crawl and a whimper. (Definitely today!)

- You can't help skipping and whistling while you run.

- You faint at the sound of the starter's pistol.

- You look for an ambulance at the end of each race. (Have I mentioned my interaction with the med tent in my last race?!)

- You cry at the sight of a hill. (Absolutely.)

- You roll down hills because you like the way the grass tickles.

Taken from: http://www.distancedemons.homestead.com/Trivia.html

Friday, March 14, 2008

Just Keeping Track





Confession time, blog world.

If you have been around my blog a while you know I'm a running nut. It's not that I'm so completely obsessed with the actual running. (Although I do love it and totally enjoy the challenge) It's more the talking...

Not the "look at me! Wahoo! ...I'm a runner" kind of talk, but more of..."I just ran two miles and I'm going to fall over" or "That was a great six miles! Where's the cheesecake?" or "How long has it been? Oh. Only four minutes? Really? Are you sure? Hmmm."

I'm so glad that my 'mile-marker' below only keeps track of miles. Not complaints and cupcakes.